why do you have to go?

Bismillahirahmanirrahim
Salam.

the title up there was the question asked by majority of the students in SMKLB. "Why teacher? why do you have to go? Would you ever come back?".
I couldn't face them when the question came out from their tiny mouth. although their shirts and their tudungs were full of stains from their breakfast, i hugged them tightly and told them that I am going to leave them, I have to. "I have to go, i hate to go, but I have to go. I am sorry my dear."

They cried when I gave my last words to them. They hugged me tightly, they kissed my cheek firmly and my face was wet with their tears, combined with mine, our tears all mixed up, and wet with their kisses too. I gave a very tender tap on the head for every boy in my class. And some of them looked down when i did. some of them couldn't say a word. they were making noise in silence. i knew i broke their heart when i said i'm leaving. i am so sorry..
i told them to take care of each other when i'm gone. i told them to remember me whenever they wanna break the school law. i told them to think of me when they feel lazy and uneasy.
perhaps, the memory of me would make them feel a lil more happier. perhaps.


i will definitely miss every single laughter. and every single naughtiness. and all the silly and whacky questions. and all the gifts of life. i will terribly miss them.


i will definitely miss the bell of the hostel. annoying, but reminding. i will also definitely miss the quite-delicious hostel food. i will also miss the trouble of having no water for the morning shower. I will miss the occasions and the guitars and the unfamiliar sweet malay songs. i will miss playing badminton at nights after prep. i will miss teaching netball.


i will miss every smile. every 'Assalamualaikum teacher'. every 'Teacher, comelnya', every grammatical error, every 'I am live in Labu Besar', every blur face and every noise.

i dunno whether i've really touch their hearts or not, but i do know that they have touched mine. i will seriously miss them to every bits. my first students, my first asrama kids, and the love of my life :(

to students of SMK Labu Besar, Kulim, Kedah 2008.
if u ever read this, please know that I will remember you. you are my first love, and will continue to be. I am a teacher for all occasion and all weather and no matter how weak your English is, it never matters. I still love you, and I know you will be good in English one day. Inshaallah. :) thanks for everything ppl.

well, teachers, even though i dun wanna be one, the students will always be a reason why i shall continue. perhaps, i will like it and maybe, i will leave the profession one day, with the best job i had done.

ganbate!