we just don't fit in

salam
hey all
that day i went window shopping with two lovely friends, kak su and the bubbly shaz
while waiting for kak su (lambat! hehe :P) shaz, as bubbly as i remember were talking about soo many stuff that were really worth hearing. shaz is like 100% talker, and i am the 40% talker and 60% listener. ahaha :) and to my liking, the topic we talked about mmg happening. and we watched oprah (it's life ok?) and that's why i feel connected with shaz. mmg line penuh la. network bagus!

anyway, we were talking about how we just don't fit in. fit in what and where? huh, the so-called material life of course! i've been in five states in Malaysia, growing up is an adventure and truly i love the perak the most. it's like a pekan with a little bit of jams and a taste of local ppl and sub-urban view of ppl. it's not like where i am now.

i spend most of the time in public transports, vehicles, shoppping malls, instead of really cool places like they have in ipoh. ok, yeah i dun have a life. i dun go clubs, i dun go for parties, and my night life is at home. yes i dun have a life. so what? why should i have one when i am living in a true world, and i dun need parties and clubs to make me happy. i dun need to smell the cigar smoke stuck in my clothes to make me live life better. i dun need that.

and truly yes and yes, like shaz said, we dun fit in. we like..dun belong. right. as if we want to !
we dun buy designer stuff and we only shop at bundles and go for 70% sales only. bargain! as shaz would say. we dun spend money at starbucks or coffee bean or chilis or whatever. we eat at food court and buy cheap sushis at Isetan. we just dun have the money, the liking and the moood for urban lifestyle. we just dun dress like ppl wan to see and we just dun care. we dun like living in the material world where ppl see the shoes, the bags and the whatever. i dun wana be material.

(but if course i love to watch and stare at ppl's bag and nice shoes. hahaha :P)

as a whole, yes, we dun fit in, we truly dun.
and that's not a sin
and we noe, there are many ppl out there who feel the same. we are equal.
dun worry. getting a life is more than partying and stuff. it's more than having a perfect fit stilettos and cute guess bags.
it's more than u could ever imagine.
find ur life elsewhere, and i suggest u go back to religion to see it clearly.

islam is my way of life. i am still finding it there :)

i hope you'll gain something from somewhere too. wallahualam. amin.

buat mereka yang rasa tersisih, rasa tidak sempurna, rasa tidak kaya, dan rasa kehidupan kamu bosan. dalam ketidaksempurnaan itu ada indahnya. kerana kersempurnaan itu milik tuhan. percayalah, keindahan hidup bukan hanya pada kebendaan.

tempurung dan kataknya

hari ni aku ke gedung beli-belah
tak tahu kenapa
tiada makna
tiada arah
tiada tujuan
tiada wawasan

mungkin aku sengaja
mahu cuci mata
buka minda
luaskan telinga
bernafaskan pendingin hawa
menghidu wangian berjenama

aku lihat di sana
berebut tangan-tangan mencapai helaian baju
mencari saiz paling muat
mendamba warna paling hebat

aku lihat di sini
ada bintang rock
ada juga perempuan hangat
mendedah tubuh
lagak menggiurkan
persalinannya mesti beribu
kasutnya mesti koleksi terhad
rambutnya dari salun

aku lihat di situ
anak-anak muda berkeliaran
darah muda boleh ku hidu
bersama sepatu dan sarung kaki ketat
berwarna warni
aku lupa
itu fesyen terkini
aku kah yang tidak mengerti?

aku kah diantara mereka itu?
aku tidak duduk disitu
aku tidak bergelak di sana
aku tidak berebut di sini

aku punya cara aku tersendiri
untuk bergembira
aku punya kekuatan yang beda
dari mereka
aku punya minat yang lain
tidak sama

kalau orang tidak sampai ke ibu kota
dikatakan katak bawah tempurung

mereka yang di kota itulah katak berwarna-warni
di dalam tempurung penuh pembangunan
penuh budaya material
tempurung yang cukup sesak
tempurung yang susah untuk aku bernafas
tempurung yang kian lama kian hanyut
kian terbiasa dengan dusta
kian tergerak oleh hina

dan aku juga masuk ke tempurung itu
tempurung yang menikam tulang belakang
tempurung yang melalaikan
tempurung yang tiada jiwa

keluarkan aku dari tempurung ini!
aku tidak mahu disini!