Sunday 24 January 2010

i despise disappointment but things just happen

salam




according to my life nothing was what i always expected it to be. i always dreamt on how to grow up being 25 and probably my plans in my dreams will remain dreams.

i remember how i was always inspired by this strong, opinionated lady who had a great life. she is a lecturer, writer cum singer cum poet. and to be true here i still love her poems and all the realities she put up to. once i was so proud that she has changed to be a better person when she started covering he hair and talking more about what's in the hadith and her writings always make me remind of Islam. that made me really proud and i kept on boasting to my friends about her, having the desire to change and writing about things matter most.

but i was in major disappointment when i saw her new look. there is no more cloth on her hair and she's back to where she started. yes, i told you i despise disappointment, but things happen. she's still someone genius to me. still a celebrity. still someone i look up to, right? who am i to judge her? but if you get what i mean, you'll understand even from far. if i am her friend i don't know what i'll say to her. I'm just being human, here. I just don't have the heart to hurt. i am sorry babe, or girl, or lady. i am just disappointed. but that doesn't mean i hate you. i just hate the disappointment part.

(to the person who may concern, if you read this, you're a celebrity, i'm sorry, i'm just as opinionated as you are, and i do like you and your work, hope this won't offend you.if it does a little or too much, i'm sorry. disappointment is equal to sad, not hatred.)

(to those who know who this person might be, just read it and leave it)

(to those who are wondering who this person is, maybe you haven't read my old previous entries, if you do you'll easily guess who)

whereas, for my students, disappointments happen every day for every single period. it's like a routine i had to go through. things like "I'm sorry teacher, i didn't bring it" or "sorry i'm late, sakit perut" crush my heart.

and i am very very very majorly disappointed with things i had to go through, certain people i work with, and my wonderful self for so many things i haven't completed yet.

disappointment is something i'll endure though it seems so easy to just walk through it yet difficult to swallow.

hmph.
i'm sorry.

2 comments:

Md Zaini Zulkufli said...

siapa dia ni?..ermmmm

k3i said...

poetic? i think who is she..

it was like a big coincidence when u talk about disappointment cz i jz talk to some fren how much i hate to be let down.. haha..

yea, sometimes it hurts really deep inside even it shouldn't hurt others.
:(

'lupa' is such a lame and the most annoying excuse to me. huuu~

mi amor

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