Tuesday, 30 December 2008

gadis kotor



dia gadis paling kotor pernah kau jumpa
ada pasir tersekat di kukunya
penuh lumpur hitam di paru-parunya
dia bernafaskan udara sampah
dia berumahkan sisa makanan semalam
dia kotor sekali

peluhnya hangit semerbak
memenuhi ruang kaki lima durjana itu
dakinya setebal konkrit itu
kulitnya kasar, jijik, penuh sisik
dia gadis kotor

kasihnya tidak pernah kesampaian
cintanya tidak pernah dihiraukan
dia tidak suci
dia dibenci
dia bukan indah di hati
dia bukan gadis impian jejaka
dia tidak mahu didamba lelaki
kaum adam yang terakhir sekalipun
tidak mahu dekat gadis ini

dia gadis kotor

lewat malam
dia menangis sendiri
bersoal pada tuhan
mengapa dirinya begini

satu hari yang lebih kotor
dia terlihat satu cahaya
datang ke arahnya
terlihat seorang wira
entah dari kayangan mana
menghulur tangan erat
disambutnya dengan nikmat

tangisan gadis kotor hari ini
bukan tangis hiba
tangis penuh ketawa
air mata kesyukuran dilimpah
khas buat penciptanya
kerana memberi ruang
mengunjur peluang

sang wira itu terus menggenggam tangan gadis itu seerat-eratnya

dia diselamatkan
sang perwira
diturunkan tuhan

sang perwira,
jangan lepaskan tanganmu
tetaplah disisi selalu

Monday, 29 December 2008

bulan, jangan jatuh


kepada mereka yang mendamba sang rembulan. dambaan yang tidak bernoktah. ketahuilah bahawa kamu sangat setia.

bulan jangan jatuh

bulan, jangan jatuh ya
kalau kamu jatuh
siapa yang lantas mengambil kamu ke riba
mesti ramai pantas yang menyambut kamu
pasti bukan aku seorang saja
pasti mereka ambil kamu dari pandanganku
oleh itu janganlah jatuh bulan ku?

bulan, kamu tahu kenapa aku tak benarkan kau jatuh?
kalau kamu jatuh
sang pendamba lain yang merebut kamu
kalau kamu jatuh
insan lain yang miliki kamu
biar disitu ya bulan?
jangan lah jatuh
aku perlu lihat kamu di langit itu

kalau kamu jatuh
pasti aku tidak dapat menatap kamu

jangan jatuh ya
kekallah di situ
agar aku sentiasa dapat perhati kamu
di malam gelap gelita
di masa aku tidak mahu ketawa

jangan jatuh ya bulan?

Sunday, 28 December 2008

shifting

salam
salam maal hijrah my fellow friends.. :)
hoping that this year's resolutions will come true, amin.

here's sumthing for my whole brand new year

to all my fellow muslims, my fellow friends. hijrah, is a powerful diction. it will never be too late to hijrah. let's do it :)

hijrahku

beralihlah kita
ke lembaran baru
dengan penuh takwa
dengan sujud tunduk
penuh kesyukuran

inginku berhijrah
ke lembah baru tiada dusta
tiada noda
mulakan hidup di situ
bebas aku mendambaMu tuhan
rela aku menyanjungmu tuhan

hijrah
bukan adat
bukan budaya
tidak disambut dengan kenduri kendara
bukan dimeriah dengan ledakan mercun

kedua belah tangan ku angkat
tanda kenikmatan alamMu ya tuhan
semoga hijrahku
ke arah cinta Mu


dear Allah SWt,
please save the people who has been in torture in this world
give them the best of life and free them from hunger and cruelty
may you free all their sins and make them live happier in this new year
may their life be blessed and ours too
may Islam stand strong with all the believers who try hard to not fail you
make us the best khalifah as possible
and show us the right path to your love
and bless your messenger, Nabi Muhammad SAW
i stand here, as humble as i could be
to witness your power and blessings
as I live for Islam
and i stand in it as long as i live.

amin, ya rabbal alamin.
salam tahun baru saudaraku

Wednesday, 24 December 2008

we just don't fit in

salam
hey all
that day i went window shopping with two lovely friends, kak su and the bubbly shaz
while waiting for kak su (lambat! hehe :P) shaz, as bubbly as i remember were talking about soo many stuff that were really worth hearing. shaz is like 100% talker, and i am the 40% talker and 60% listener. ahaha :) and to my liking, the topic we talked about mmg happening. and we watched oprah (it's life ok?) and that's why i feel connected with shaz. mmg line penuh la. network bagus!

anyway, we were talking about how we just don't fit in. fit in what and where? huh, the so-called material life of course! i've been in five states in Malaysia, growing up is an adventure and truly i love the perak the most. it's like a pekan with a little bit of jams and a taste of local ppl and sub-urban view of ppl. it's not like where i am now.

i spend most of the time in public transports, vehicles, shoppping malls, instead of really cool places like they have in ipoh. ok, yeah i dun have a life. i dun go clubs, i dun go for parties, and my night life is at home. yes i dun have a life. so what? why should i have one when i am living in a true world, and i dun need parties and clubs to make me happy. i dun need to smell the cigar smoke stuck in my clothes to make me live life better. i dun need that.

and truly yes and yes, like shaz said, we dun fit in. we like..dun belong. right. as if we want to !
we dun buy designer stuff and we only shop at bundles and go for 70% sales only. bargain! as shaz would say. we dun spend money at starbucks or coffee bean or chilis or whatever. we eat at food court and buy cheap sushis at Isetan. we just dun have the money, the liking and the moood for urban lifestyle. we just dun dress like ppl wan to see and we just dun care. we dun like living in the material world where ppl see the shoes, the bags and the whatever. i dun wana be material.

(but if course i love to watch and stare at ppl's bag and nice shoes. hahaha :P)

as a whole, yes, we dun fit in, we truly dun.
and that's not a sin
and we noe, there are many ppl out there who feel the same. we are equal.
dun worry. getting a life is more than partying and stuff. it's more than having a perfect fit stilettos and cute guess bags.
it's more than u could ever imagine.
find ur life elsewhere, and i suggest u go back to religion to see it clearly.

islam is my way of life. i am still finding it there :)

i hope you'll gain something from somewhere too. wallahualam. amin.

buat mereka yang rasa tersisih, rasa tidak sempurna, rasa tidak kaya, dan rasa kehidupan kamu bosan. dalam ketidaksempurnaan itu ada indahnya. kerana kersempurnaan itu milik tuhan. percayalah, keindahan hidup bukan hanya pada kebendaan.

tempurung dan kataknya

hari ni aku ke gedung beli-belah
tak tahu kenapa
tiada makna
tiada arah
tiada tujuan
tiada wawasan

mungkin aku sengaja
mahu cuci mata
buka minda
luaskan telinga
bernafaskan pendingin hawa
menghidu wangian berjenama

aku lihat di sana
berebut tangan-tangan mencapai helaian baju
mencari saiz paling muat
mendamba warna paling hebat

aku lihat di sini
ada bintang rock
ada juga perempuan hangat
mendedah tubuh
lagak menggiurkan
persalinannya mesti beribu
kasutnya mesti koleksi terhad
rambutnya dari salun

aku lihat di situ
anak-anak muda berkeliaran
darah muda boleh ku hidu
bersama sepatu dan sarung kaki ketat
berwarna warni
aku lupa
itu fesyen terkini
aku kah yang tidak mengerti?

aku kah diantara mereka itu?
aku tidak duduk disitu
aku tidak bergelak di sana
aku tidak berebut di sini

aku punya cara aku tersendiri
untuk bergembira
aku punya kekuatan yang beda
dari mereka
aku punya minat yang lain
tidak sama

kalau orang tidak sampai ke ibu kota
dikatakan katak bawah tempurung

mereka yang di kota itulah katak berwarna-warni
di dalam tempurung penuh pembangunan
penuh budaya material
tempurung yang cukup sesak
tempurung yang susah untuk aku bernafas
tempurung yang kian lama kian hanyut
kian terbiasa dengan dusta
kian tergerak oleh hina

dan aku juga masuk ke tempurung itu
tempurung yang menikam tulang belakang
tempurung yang melalaikan
tempurung yang tiada jiwa

keluarkan aku dari tempurung ini!
aku tidak mahu disini!

Tuesday, 23 December 2008

kawan kapal


buat sahabat dan teman; kalian mengindahkan hidup dan sanubari dan sentiasa bertakhta di hati. buat mereka yang rasa tiada berteman dan bersahabat, percayalah, di dalam keriuhan dan kesibukan itu, kawan tetap bersama.

dua puluh tiga tahun aku hidup

ramai juga kawan-kawan yang aku kumpulkan

dari empat keping tanah asing
perak, pulau pinang, kedah dan ibu kota

pelbagai jenis, pelbagai gaya


perjalanan hidup ini taklah seindah mana
tapi jadi hebat dengan kehadiran kawan
jadi berombak dengan adanya teman
jadi berbunga dengan ditemani sahabat
jadi bergolak dirungkai kawan

hari ini kawan aku ada

ada hari mereka tiada
tidak salahkan mereka
bukan salah mereka


bila mereka ada
aku gembira
bila mereka tiada
aku cuba bergembira
kerana aku tahu mereka tetap ada
tetap ada


kadang-kadang terfikir juga

yang mana satu antara teman yang bisa sentiasa bersama
berkongsi gelak jerit pekik semua
berkongsi kerepek sambil menyanyi lagu-lagu sheila on7
berkongsi jalan berkongsi meredah peperiksaan
berkongsi cerita jejaka panas, jejaka tampan

berkongsi cerita putus cinta dan menangis bersama
berkongsi dan berkongsi segala
teman itu aku tidak tahu siapa
tapi aku tahu
pasti ada antara mereka
pasti juga yang tiada
tak apalah, bukan aku ingin meminta-minta


teman,

walaupun ramai, walaupun jauh, entah kan lagi dekat
perkongsian ini jauh lebih indah
dari keseorangan
sampai aku pun tidak tahu
yang mana satu paling akrab denganku

yang aku tahu

kamu,
menemani aku

bersama aku
menyokong aku

menghargai aku

kawan,
aku pun
menemani kamu

bersama kamu
menyokong kamu
menghargai kamu

kalaupun kamu benci aku
aku tetap teman
kalaupun kamu tidak senang dengan aku

aku tetap kawan

teman, sahabat

terima kasih atas kemunculan
silalah muncul di depan mata selalu

:)


senyum
:)

i love you, friends :)

Saturday, 20 December 2008

suara-suara aku dan kamu


siapa kata
kita kena ada depresi baru boleh berpuisi?

siapa yang kata
puisi itu untuk orang yang akalnya sedih dan sendiri?
siapa kata
orang baru putus cinta saja cekap berbait-bait,

mencakar kata, berpujangga
jiwa

aku tidak gelora kala ini

jiwa aku biasa saja

tapi aku layak berpuisi
layak bermain emosi

nah, ini aku tulis bukan puisi?


aku asik dengar orang kata

orang kata begitu

orang kata begini

asik asik itu

asik asik ini


kenapa aku selalu nak dengar yang orang kata?
kenapa tanak dengar apa yang aku kata?
apa, kata-kata aku itu tiada kah maknanya?

apa, fikiran aku ini, adakah bebal ?
adakah bodoh ?

adakah tak setanding ?


aku hidup berlandaskan
apa yang orang kata
memang perlu sebenarnya
aku
bukan hidup seorang saja

dunia ini bukan kepunyaan aku untuk bersandiwara

bukan milik aku,
bukan milik aku


tapi, aku masih ada suara aku
kalau aku tak dengar kata aku
suara aku
siapa lagi yang nak dengar

nanti merajuk pula dia

aku percaya pada suara itu

kerana suara itu milik aku


kamu juga harus percayakan suara kamu
kerana suara itu milik kamu

hanani,
201208
ampang

*ini first time aku entry-kan my puisi ini. ini sgt spontan. koleksi ku ada, nanti aku tulis di sini.

Wednesday, 17 December 2008

addiction is fatal

salam
i am currently addicted to:

fynn jamal
yuna

1) fynn jamal is a poet cum singer. she's more to poetry. i've never seen her live, no chance. i have no idea of her background but i've read her blog and i've seen her in so many videos and youtube. and she is really amazing. an indie poet who really loves art, which is very obvious.

watch this. it's really great :)
Fynn Jamal : Puisi perempuan curang


2) yuna, on the other hand is an indie singer/songwriter who just launched an EP. tell u the truth all her songs were really great. never seen her live neither, but i have downloaded her songs and watched her on youtube. and to make my grin bigger, she wears hijab, which is very rare for indie girls, an inspiration. and besides, hijab or not, she IS very talented. that's what count most.

watch this, u should!
Yuna - rocket at her EP launch


salute to all the talented ppl in Malaysia. we really appreciate ur talent. pls dun be famous. i'd rather see u on youtbe :)

salam :D bye

primadona

salam

aku dh act dlm 4 buah drama kecil-kecilan di institut pengajian. cukup ke?
i noe it's never gona be enuf for me.
so how am i supposed to pursue my acting passion and learn more?
short courses? kurang ada and i wont be able to attend.
rasa2 mcm nk amik second deg on teater or just a diploma kat akademi seni kebangsaan.
or,
i cn ask to be an english lecturer there. and frm there i could start. bila i dh grad nanti. ya.
i akan mintak. kalu tak dapat i mintak lagi. kita tgk sejauh mana kecekalan diri i ni.
apa yg best sgt performing arts ni?
i duno. as far as i am concern, aku satisfy bila berdrama. ya. sungguh.
when i was on the stage playing oedipus, i felt so courages. i felt so handsome. gagah.
well..actually, it challenges myself. i noe i want to challenge myself. nk buktikan pd diri i yg i bleh buat.
proving to other ppl is hard enuf, but to myself is even harder.

bukan nak fame, atau poyo, atau semberono saja. bukan nk seronok2.
tp i cintakan penghayatan. i cintakan kehalusan. i cintakan satisfaction. yg gerenti.
i cinta arts

salam :)

Sunday, 14 December 2008

nasihat abah

salam
entry hari ini dalam bahasa melayu.
atas alasan ; disengajakan. untuk menyedarkan semua orang yg pandai membaca bahasa melayu tentang kenyataan orang2 malaysia.

abah aku sudah lama tak balik rumah; why? sebab dia berada di bukit antarabangsa sejak sebelum subuh hari kejadian 14 banglo ranap tersebut. dia bgn pukul 4 pg. aku dn mama pun terbangun sekali (yelah, mrk tidur bersama kan?). aku malas nak tanya sebab masih mamai kala itu. aku dgr perbualan abah kat telefon "panggil semua anggota kejutkan semua orang. kejadian tanah runtuh besar-besaran kat bukit antarabangsa. kerah semua anggota yang ada. yg tidur kejutkan". kemudian aku tidur balik. subuh itu tak dgr suara abah kejut kami yg selalunya liat nk bgn solat.


untuk seminggu, aku tak nampak abah. hanya dgr suara kat telefon suruh tolong siram bunga, masukkan kereta, kunci pintu. itulah abah. abah ketua bahagian jenayah IPD Ampang. (rasanyalah). sebenarnya abah ada balik, tapi pukul 3 pagi, lepas subuh dh pergi balik. patutla aku tak jumpa abah. kesian abah tidurnya tak sampai 3 jam. hari pertama lagilah. abah kata dia tak tidur pun.

dh lepas seminggu, reda sikit abah dh ada at umah. tapi balik still lewat la. kesian gak. abah kata, benda ni bleh berlarutan 1-2 bulan.aduh..pening tu..

yg point sebenanrnya ; abah cerita mcm2. salah satu yang aku ingat, : Ada anggota RELA tolong angkat satu beg org kaya ni. pastu org kaya tu marah2. suruh letak balik beg tu. dia kata "jgn angkat yang itu. dalam tu duit aku banyak". pastu org kaya tu suruh angkat brg lain yg besar2 dan berat2. anggota RELA tu turut ja. tp ada yg blah gitu aja. apakah perkataan yg sesuai untuk org kaya ni , aku pun tatau. tp aku nk ckp la kan, org dah tolong, secara SUKARELA. tp,...... hm..korang sendirilah sambung ayat aku.

cerita lagi, abah kata bantuan mmg susah nk sampai. especially makanan. bila makanan tak sampai, ada yg bising. tp bila makanan smpai, diorang kata tak sedap dn tak penuhi selera diorg. abah cakap "bersukurlah tuhan tak jatuhkan tanah tu atas kamu". diorg tak sedar yg diorg baru je terlepas dr malapetaka yg dahsyat. if not they wouldn't be complaining so much.

abah kata diorang bising bila tentera lmbt buat jalan. jalan susah. menyusahkan diorang. apalah masalah mereka ni. aku pun tak tau

tp, aku tak rs diorng SEMUA mcm tu. masih ada yg sgt prihatin dn menghargai org2 mcm abah aku ni. kepada yg menghargai dn tak komplen, terima asih dr pihak anaknya ini. yg komplen, lu pikir lah sendiri.

last2 abah simpulkan cerita-cerita nya
"anak2 abah tak payah la jadi kaya. abah dh tgk sendiri bongkak dan hidung tinggi"

so, mesej dr entry ini?
bak kata nabil "lu pikirlah sindri"

salam.
al-fatihah buat mangsa

it always starts from somewhere

hey. my heart says this:
somewhere in my heart, i wanna continue writing my poetry which i stopped 3 years ago

somewhere in my pancreas, i wannaa join the stage art community and dream on, become a primadona in my own little humble world.

somewhere in my brain, i wana learn to perform, speak loud and clear in front of strangers.

somewhere, somewhere. will this go anywhere? will i just..stay there?

i duno. but somewhere sounds like a good start.
maybe i'll just take it
and give it a shot
at least, i am going somewhere
no matter where it might take me,
away.

Monday, 8 December 2008

my sister and I and the chocolate factory

chocolate, anyone?

salam
bismillahirrahmanirrahim :)
hey, it's eid today and selamat hari raya qurban to all of you. since our raya is not that fun (like we used to celebrate in pendang), my sister and i filled the day by opening our very own mini tiny chocolate factory. our menu was:-

1) chocolate pralines with cashew nuts
2) chocolate pralines with almonds
3) chocolate pralines with mixed fruit

our very own three types of chocolate pralines

4) chocolate dipped marshmallows

marshmallow fever!

whee :) the fun part was, they turned out really great. my sister said we created a cool delicious mess in the kitchen. indeed we did :P
anyways, i hate eid in KL. nothing to do. no houses to go. and moreover, dad is busy with the bukit antarabangsa massive landslide and i had not seen him for 3 days already. since the landslide. because he had to be there 24 hours. condolence to the victims.

this is indeed our second project at home. the first project was cheesecake and i did not take any pictures because the next morning, it was gone already. fancy, many cheesecake fans in the house. alert! ngee. what will our next project be? tune in to find out. maybe the most delicious brownies. haha. baking, cooking and pasta-ing. fun fun!
u should try too, especially during this looonngggg semester break :P

salam ppl

Friday, 5 December 2008

much ado about sooo many things :D

One fine day, I went to the gymnasium to ask for the packages that they offer. And before I went to the gymnasium, I was offered a makeover by MAC professional make up artist and my face turned out really great. Hu? I was walking at the center court KLCC and there was this red-she said promotion by MAC. I didn’t even look at what was going on and suddenly these girls (pretty and sexy) came to me and said that they want to do sumting to my face. I asked whether I have to pay or I have to buy their product if they make up my face but they said this is just for free. Anyways, they did promote some make up base or whatever but I told them I dun have money haha. And plus, the best part was I got a sample of a make up base. Very cool huh? For a person who doesn’t really believe in make up, I trust these pretty girls to make over me. Ahha. The result? Pretty, seductive looking Nani. Hehehe. Seductive meh? Aiyak. Anyway, it was such a shame I did not snap a picture becus I didn’t bring along my cybershot. Rugi betul. If not u guys could see another nani. Hehe.

Make up is an astonishing invention. It could change a person. Well, I prefer to not be changed by make up. I prefer myself :D thanks to my Almighty J

Btw, about the gymnasium. I think I have to forget about it because, it will cost me a lot, so let’s exercise the free, easy way :P

MAKEUP is not the most inspired thing ppl in this world invent. For me, the best creations by human being are these things. The list goes until number 10 accordingly. Meaning that, number 1 is the best la. So, if u dun agree, y dun u make ur own list ^_^.

10 best inventions by human beings.

10. The internet – I couldn’t blog and u ppl couldn’t read all my nerve-racking and ridiculous thoughts

9. The washing machine – with this I could really sleep well at night

8. The Electric Fan – don’t blame me, I sweat a lot

7. Schools – it’s good being a teacher, and it’s good to learn in schools :D

6. The Kampung Boy – I’m so proud of you Lat~!

5. EPL – it is a good topic to argue with your soccer-fan soulmate :D (And also an excuse to lepak in mamak stalls till late at nightJ- only if ur not a clubbing party animal la)

4. Flip flop – this is a life saver. U can even wear it with baju kurung!

3. Cinema – I’m crazy for movies and the cinema is the reason why producers keep on creating first-class movies for movie-buff like myself :P

2. Chocolate – the folk who invented this really got good taste

1. Harry Potter novels – JK Rowling, nothing beats your novels. Honestly, I have read so many novels and I only fell in love deeply with the wizard-ous folk! J

Do you have a list of your own?

salam

Saturday, 15 November 2008

a 'wayang' to remember




Synopsis

Master puppeteer, Awang Lah, becomes a uneasy teacher to Awi, a blind, orphaned boy, and Melor, a girl with a nasal problem. Though blind, Awi is adept at memorizing wayang kulit stories. Melor, too, shows great skill in creating the puppets and manipulating them on the screen as Awi recites the stories.

Now adult, Awi’s innovative ways of telling the time-worn tales of the Ramayana is well-received by his audience but Awang Lah is not pleased. To him, the traditional wayang kulit performance are sacrosanct and must not be tampered with. Awang Lah’s problems are further compounded by the antics of his cousin, Jusoh, who considers Awang Lah and his wayang kulit as heretical.

Loves begins to bloom between the blind Awi and Melor. Jusoh, who has an eye for Melor, begins to throw all manner of obstacles in their path, resulting in Awi being blamed for burning down Awang Lah’s wayang kulit theatre. Awang Lah confronts Jusoh when he discovers that Jusoh was the real culprit. Now strongly protective of Awi and Melor, Awang Lah warns Jusoh to keep away from them. Circumstances become too much for Awang Lahwayang kulit performance.

and...senang cakap, u guys go watch it for yourself. i watched this alone, so based from only my perspective, 'wayang' is not an ordinary love story. sad, but true. sincere, bitter, and full of emotions. credits to zul huzaimy for making my day. he really convinced me that he is a versatile actor. it's literature, which i really fancy, still it has so much moral values and deep messages towards viewers. for a person who has critical perspective, i would never regret watching 'wayang'. congratulations Prof. Hatta Azad Khan. i give u 4 outa 5 stars :D

anyways, anyone who wants to angau and who thinks that their love life is hard, u should watch this and u noe there are ppl who have more complicated and sad relationship. life is harsh, but it must go on.
:) salam ppl :D

Wednesday, 12 November 2008

i was really left behind


salam
wana tell u guys about my/our current addiction.

although i'm a bit kuno at this, because ppl already watch this serie long time ago, but still, it's an addiction :P
anyway, it starts when my roommate brought this Princess Hours cd and Gda, she and i was like totally into it. and then we did our 'angau' session individually on our bed before we go to sleep for the past..let me say...three nights in a row? hoah. anything happens, just put the blame on my roommate - ejat. well, easy isn't it?;to fall in love an get sddicted to those romantic Korean dramas with cute guys and girls in it :P just hoping that the romantic-ness is reality :D haha (hint! hint!).

anyways, the romantic issue here is that, love, and romantic-ness should not just be uttered by lips only. doing it is more powerful. trust me, there are no words in the dictionary would overpower, or even represent 'hugs'. if u cn find any..just tell me, and i'll still argue the meaning in context! :D well, actions really2 do speak louder than words! heheee :D ngeeeee

:D
salam ya all~

Sunday, 9 November 2008

rain, rain, go away. or maybe just stay.

salam
hey all. it's raining and i couldn't go out to play basketball. and, it demotivates me even more to go play ping pong. huh.
basketball is like my favourite thing right now. besides badminton, netball, volleyball, and futsal. couldn't play futsal becoz there are no girls playing futsal here in Sg Petani. none play volleyball (it's not a favorite here) and the girls are too lazy to play netball. and maybe they have lost the interest to play becoz many of em switched to basketball. one of em is me :I. well, i still love my netball skills and will try for the team next year. or even badminton.

and now i couldn't wash my clothes. it's raining. another excuse, another reason,
gosh, i saw the pesona NONA ad on tv just now. I wonder if i just giv it a try. would it be ok? ahaha. maybe next year. when everything is not this hectic. hehe

and, i was invited to Ijot's engagement and i self elected as photographer-lala. haha. just wanna have fun. ye ye. ijot nak tunang dah :D another friend, getting engaged. me? when? haha :D ask him

anyway, congratulations to my bff, kema for her posting in La Salle, PJ. when i heard it, i laughed. gently. well, all i can say is, good luck. and..u'll be a hot tcher there. hahaks.

well, there's the advertisement on how to lose fat on tv. so easy.i think ppl who went through all the losing weight program had to lose weight because of the fact that they have spent all their money there. it's like, psychology, u noe. poket kering, badan pun kering. aku yg tak kering2 lagi. ahaha :D

yeah, for those who stays in SP, go and try HotMas. Grill chicken very tasty. haha

okay. my proposal done oledi. all ok just sum adjustment. i just cannot do it becoz so lazy. need to change, need to change. nani. change. and boyfriend, i miss u la :O

dats all ppl
bye :D

Sunday, 26 October 2008

couldn't get enough of raya

nona

ustat's

si comels :P

tiga dara pingitan; nani, nona, atie. all taken, i guess? :P

hey
salam

went to nona's open house yesterday. got some stomach full :D and went to lepak with panda, atie, ustat, and my mat :) wait and wait for iqa and jimmie to show, but couldn't wait long enuf coz mum keeps on calling me asking 'bila nak balik?'..huhu.. just some pictures from my sis's D60, testing my skill. panda and mat were also testing their skills. somehow, they admitted they had skills too. haha :D

anyway, here are some of the many pictures :D

panda had lots of shots, but this is the best one i guess :D

my mat doing his thingy..

ustat and atie :)

ustat and atie, againmd zaini and hanani


Friday, 24 October 2008

me? nani?

bismillahirrahmanirrahim
salam

just finished practicum, all the messy lesson plans will be history. and now comes a new burden. the big, fat, project paper. urghh..
just to think of it halfway make me wanna, throw up. so many things to do so little time, so limited sources, so low budget, so small support. gee. ngee. nguuhhh.. ouch

anyway, still, even in the busiest moment of life i wana hang out and enjoy with friends and family. all work and no play makes jack a dull boy, remember? me? i play all the time haha ..

hey, actually i applied for the short script writing course in Astro, it's international one and it's gonna be really big! omg! i'm really nervous to know whether i will be accepted or not. i hope i will, just to open my eye about script writing hehe. i wana be a part of it.
anyway, i also am working on 2 short stories for next semester. any idea ppl? i've got an idea for one story already. i will be needing another idea and dun worry, i'll acknowledge you. hiks

well, if i wanna start to be a writer, i gotta start now. no hesitation, pls nani.

p/s. i just wish my writings are a bit flowery with all the figurative languages, but i just couldn't do that. like my friend, li ann said, "look at Mitch Albom, nani. He did not use all the flowery languages, yet we cried reading his book, ain't we? so, flower or not, not important lah".
i couldn't agree more, Li Ann :)

salam :D

why do you have to go?

Bismillahirahmanirrahim
Salam.

the title up there was the question asked by majority of the students in SMKLB. "Why teacher? why do you have to go? Would you ever come back?".
I couldn't face them when the question came out from their tiny mouth. although their shirts and their tudungs were full of stains from their breakfast, i hugged them tightly and told them that I am going to leave them, I have to. "I have to go, i hate to go, but I have to go. I am sorry my dear."

They cried when I gave my last words to them. They hugged me tightly, they kissed my cheek firmly and my face was wet with their tears, combined with mine, our tears all mixed up, and wet with their kisses too. I gave a very tender tap on the head for every boy in my class. And some of them looked down when i did. some of them couldn't say a word. they were making noise in silence. i knew i broke their heart when i said i'm leaving. i am so sorry..
i told them to take care of each other when i'm gone. i told them to remember me whenever they wanna break the school law. i told them to think of me when they feel lazy and uneasy.
perhaps, the memory of me would make them feel a lil more happier. perhaps.


i will definitely miss every single laughter. and every single naughtiness. and all the silly and whacky questions. and all the gifts of life. i will terribly miss them.


i will definitely miss the bell of the hostel. annoying, but reminding. i will also definitely miss the quite-delicious hostel food. i will also miss the trouble of having no water for the morning shower. I will miss the occasions and the guitars and the unfamiliar sweet malay songs. i will miss playing badminton at nights after prep. i will miss teaching netball.


i will miss every smile. every 'Assalamualaikum teacher'. every 'Teacher, comelnya', every grammatical error, every 'I am live in Labu Besar', every blur face and every noise.

i dunno whether i've really touch their hearts or not, but i do know that they have touched mine. i will seriously miss them to every bits. my first students, my first asrama kids, and the love of my life :(

to students of SMK Labu Besar, Kulim, Kedah 2008.
if u ever read this, please know that I will remember you. you are my first love, and will continue to be. I am a teacher for all occasion and all weather and no matter how weak your English is, it never matters. I still love you, and I know you will be good in English one day. Inshaallah. :) thanks for everything ppl.

well, teachers, even though i dun wanna be one, the students will always be a reason why i shall continue. perhaps, i will like it and maybe, i will leave the profession one day, with the best job i had done.

ganbate!

Sunday, 28 September 2008

pictures of you

syura :D

firdaus, shafiq and amiran. three notty boys

amin the best listener in class

the very cute zambri who gave me two raya cards :D

izham the goody boy

pauline :D

the scenery of 2L1

nina and dayah; the two girls who keep on telling how 'tak garang' i am

Rafidah, very shy but can be really loud

syakilla, loud and funny :D

the prettiest girl in 2L1; syuhadah the hot chick

the very cute yet naughty angels; rizal, rusdi and firdaus

the very shy shy girls of 2S1

naughty boys of 2S1; faiz, hafis, fitri (he's a genius), and my lil bro, nazim

and this guy will always be my baby :)

selamat hari raya to all of you :D

Friday, 19 September 2008

amireallysureaboutthis?


bismillahirrahmanirrahim
salam

there were so many things moving and going around my mind right now. i dunno what and i dun feel like sharing it here. but since i have time and there is no other topic for me to write,i guess i'll just give it a go...
i feel like i do not want to pursue my career in teaching. seriously,no.not because i dun like it, it's just that i dun have the guts to do it..my heart is not beating fast when i teach.i guess, i think i cannot do what i was forced to do. i guess i'll be happier doing what i wanna do. and that is maybe, being an event manager, or hosting a tv show, my english tv show :p or maybe a news presenter :D haha :P

i would like to be in the media line, the creative line, hehe :D i want to be able to express my feelings :D acting in theaters would be really cool..i wanna do that. i want to be able to do that :D well, i guess, time will have to change me.
i love my students. i love them very much. it's just that whenever i teach, my mind would always be uncomfortable. and it of course, affected my body, my soul..i feel that i need to get free, get to be loosen up a bit. and do what is comfortable for my soul,my body :-/

i want to be host who gets to travel. like her :D

i know many will say ' i tot u like teaching?' here's a correction. i love my students. i really really love them. but i have no heart in teaching. it's not there...:( i'm sorry to say this.

and although i grow to like it and i continue to grow to like it, i just cannot lie to myself. the satisfaction is not guaranteed. what do i really want? the ability to be able to express myself..in writing,in talking, in actions :)


if anyone knows whether i have that talent, do recommend me something nice :) and,i'll try to be your event manager, just test me :)
Teaching is soo cool and noble, but nothing beats your real dream and desires.

okies:P i think that's all.c ya later alligators... :D

Monday, 1 September 2008

walllleyyyyy ^_^

bismillahirrahmanirrahim
salam

here comes ramadhan. the one moment I've been waiting for my whole year. it's not because of Syawal but ramadhan reminds of so many good things that happened last year, and the past few years. every ramadhan makes me happy and i bet it will continue to be making me happier. i hope i can fulfill all the ibadah, and fast well, sincerely, inshaallah, amin...


talking about happiness, that day i watched the cutest movie of all : wall-e. disney and pixar are genius! i am soo touched by this film. it reminds me of ourselves. of myself. who loves someone unconditionally, and loves that someone very much. awww so cute. teary-eyed~

i can't tell u bout it here, you have to watch it for yourself. although mat and i went on Wednesday, (murah day) but still, it is worth the money. hihi :D from the moment till the end, wall-e did not have to say a single word to impress eve (the female robot). action speaks louder than words! how true is that? :P

and, it also really reflects the humans, the earth and how ridiculous, and stupid human can be, one day, in the future. watch it ppl, and dun forget to comment here after you watch it. i give 4 1/2 stars, out of 5, to the magnificent movie, wall-e

salam

Friday, 1 August 2008

the tree top walk, Sedim River

bismillah, salam

the longest canopy walk in the world =)





my girlfriends and i had a really wonderful time together, the pulut durian and sandwiches and everything is soo sedap when they were eaten together :) miss u guys and couldn't wait for another adventure with u guys =)

salam :)

mi amor

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